It’s either the end or the beginning of spring break (methinks schools conspire with each other to have spring break on different weeks so that there isn’t a massive influx of young people.) It’s also probably the last quarter for many students. So naturally, Spring is the time to live it up and party. There is nothing wrong with going to a good old kick back with beer pong (unless it’s the fifth one you’ve been to that week and you haven’t been to class) but there are still responsibilities one must take to ensure we create a rape free zone.
1. Be aware of people’s body gestures and speech: One of the easiest ways to see if a person is interested in being around is to pay attention to their body language. If they seem distant, they avoid eye contact, use protective actions (like crossing arms or step back a little), if they respond with short indifferent answers, then its best to move on. Find other people to talk to and perhaps they will be more receptive of you. If you see someone who is uncomfortable by your friend's presence, pull your friend away and take them somewhere else.
2. Don’t be insistent: There is that one guy who is a total jerk ass who doesn’t respect people’s boundary and insist they do what he wants and destroys the party. Don’t be that guy.
3. Respect boundaries: Know what people want. If they are strangers to you, don’t go slapping their asses, giving them huge bear hugs or go “Man that’s one nice piece of ass”. Greet them with a handshake, share a few words and see if you click. You really should only do those things to people that you know will accept it. Don’t assume everyone will see your approaches the same way you do.
4. Don’t take advantage of a drunken person: Don’t try to have sex with a person who is too drunk to say yes or know what they’re doing. Just don’t. Use the golden rule here. If you are not sure if someone is capable of saying yes or capable of self-awareness, err with the side of caution. Assume they are not. If you see someone talking a drunken stranger with them, stop them or go with them. Even if all they were doing was making sure that person has a safe place to sleep, you’ll have the satisfaction of know that you help contribute to that safety. If you noticed that both parties are too drunk, just stop them. It is better that they both know and consent to sex than it is to have total confusion in the morning.
5. Consent can be retracted: Yes isn’t yes forever and no one is obligated to have sex. If a person wants to stop half way, then stop. And frankly it’s better if both parties are enthusiastic about it the whole way through.
6. Have fun, but be nice: Go out and have a drink, share laughs, own people at pong, light a joint, puke on the yard, forget that you had an important meeting in the morning. Do all that but don’t be a jerkass to others. Parties should be fun for everyone not just one person. And trust me; you’re not making the party fun by disrespecting people’s personal boundaries or violating them. If a person is not interested in you than just go somewhere else and enjoy your time. And don’t take it personally either. They don’t know you and they don’t know you’re intents. It’s not about you, and you should respect that.