Response to straight acting guys

So I heard it again today: a gay guy who doesn’t care about gay rights or gay pride. I suppose they must get really tired hearing the rest of use harping about injustices and other social justice related rhetoric. I get it, though. You don’t have to worry about that shit, and it’s depressing. Why rock the boat, right?

Well, let me just say I am beyond sick of hearing about how gays guys don’t care their rights or pride. You have the luxury to not care. The rest of us don’t. You may be able to pass off as “straight acting”. The rest of us can’t or won’t. I am glad that you’re privileged enough that society’s homophobia hasn’t reached you (yet). But try to see beyond your nose. It’s not about you, or how comfortable you are. Try and empathize with those of us who live in fear that people will cause them physical harm for being gay, or those us who can’t enjoy the rights that heterosexual couples enjoy. Basically, check your god-damned privilege.

The reason that some of us are so unabashedly prideful and flamboyant is because society has denied us that ability. We are denied the ability to be ourselves – something that our straight counterparts can do without question. We fight for rights, because if we don’t, bigots will take it away. Some of us reject the notion of “straight acting” because it implies that appearing heterosexual is more desirable, or (for gay men) that straight equals masculine. There are bigots out there who say the same thing – which gay people shouldn’t be out about who they are that they should do their best to act straight – and use that demote us to second class citizens. There is nothing wrong with being a flamboyant gay person (unless you start going off about how others aren’t gay because they aren’t flamboyant. Then we’ve got a problem.) But it just seems to me that guys who are irked about flamboyance do so because they can’t handle that people have different flare.

And last thing to consider is that those of us who wave the rainbow flag with pride aren’t any “gayer” than the “straight acting” folks. Many of us could easily appropriate the “straight acting” label if we wanted to. But we don’t. Because why should we settle for being “normal” when we could be happy? No one is forcing you to be flamboyant (if they are then they are wrong too). No one demands you participate in pride week or wear rainbows. Just don't hate on us if we do. M'kay?